Drinking before going to the doctors wasn’t a wise move. The waiting room was hot and I looked absolutely shocking, I looked like a junky. As soon as I sat down in the doctors office, I burst out crying, and out it all flowed, in a big snotty weepy slightly hysterical stuttering verbal vomit fest. Given it was 9am, the GP was a little taken aback you might say. However, she held it together and managed to get full sentences out of me. She was actually pretty fantastic.
I’ve been referred to a clinic that I guess is an addiction clinic that can offer counselling support, and they can prescribe the pills that make you react badly to alcohol, and apparently Valium to make the transition to sobriety smoother, and i’m guessing pretty mellow! I think I’ll pass on the Valium thanks!
And I’ve been prescribed antidepressants. I’m not massively happy about this, as its more drugs and I would prefer to not be ingesting anything mind altering at all, but I think I need to stick with it for a few months and see where it gets me. I spent a few hours googling the drug, and happened upon a mums net page with hundreds of entries from people who experienced horrific side effects of the antidepressant. Folk were freaking out after taking even one single pill, with side effects ranging from excess gas, hysteria, depression (??!) weeping, sweating, flushing, horrible nightmares….the list goes on. Having just taken one at the time, I started feeling really spaced out, and my body felt a bit, spongy is maybe the best way to describe it? But I’m putting that down to extreme hungoverness, extreme exhaustion and eating crap food, my body was just done in, and taking the pill probably just tipped me over the edge.
I’m now on the third pill, so have a good doze of the drug in my system, and I don’t appear to be experiencing any major issues. My stomach is a bit grumbly, my mouth is a bit dry, and my head feels a little bit spacey, all of which makes me feel like I want a nice peppermint or chamomile tea, and a wee lie down. I definitely do not feel like drinking. It could just be the sort of placebo affect of the whole experience of going to the GP and sort of finally admitting I need to deal with this, or it could be the feelling slightly spaced out. Either way, I’m not questioning, I’m going with it.
My flatmate is away for the weekend as of tomorrow, so its going to be tough to resist the draw of getting smashed, even though I know the pills will probably react badly and it will be horrific. The plan is to write a list of chores that keeps me busy all day, and to cook some good wholesome food, and generally, be kind to myself.