Distraught

I did it again.  I got drunk.  I bought wine, I drank it, I got drunk and ordered takeaway and another bottle of wine, and now I’m ill, ashamed and so sick of myself.  Staying sober is hard, drinking is easy.  But feeling this shitty is beyond awful.  My skin is crawling and I just want all this to go away.  I feel so weak and out of control.  I need to be strong, get myself together and beat this.  It can be done, others have shared their stories of getting sober and staying sober, it is possible.

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5 thoughts on “Distraught

    • I just want to rewind last night, and have that cup of tea and early night i promised myself. Not this hell of regret, feeling physically ill and poisoned, and feeling like my life is spiralling out of control. And for what? Something that makes me say and do stupid crazy shit, costs money and leaves me feeling like this? And I keep going back for more? Sigh.

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      • I know what you mean. I was reflecting on how good I felt for those 6 days…then it was like I rewarded myself for my good behavior. I just lie to myself about moderation.

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  1. I’m reading ‘This Naked Mind’, have you read it? Its very similar to Alan Carr’s ‘Easyway’, which basically reminds you that alcohol is an addictive drug, rather than this fun joy juice that its marketed as. I’ve read all of Alan Carr and although it resonated, I was still convinced I could moderate. Wrong! Now i’ve hit as low as I want to go, i’m convinced I want alcohol out of my life completely, and im only a few pages into This Naked Mind, but I’m pretty sure its going to do the trick. You can do this, it is possible, its not hopeless, but its hard!

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  2. There are a lot of sober bloggers on WordPress. It may be helpful to engage with some of them, especially those who are newly sober. I hope you have support for getting sober. I was constantly making deals with myself about when I could drink or how much and finding the strength to do it finally was the single most important thing I’ve ever done in my life. Don’t look at this as a failure. You’ve just put it off a bit longer.

    Liked by 1 person

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