Today was super busy, I had plans to volunteer on a project in the morning/early afternoon, although I was worried that I would be hungover, but, as I didn’t drink the night before (!!!!!) I was fresh as a daisy. Well, not quite, my back still ached and I felt a bit squiffy from all the booze over the previous days, but I was up and out the door for 9am, on a Sunday!
The day was perfect, warm and sunny and I felt good doing some physical exercise, and feeling part of the human race again. However, with physical hard work in the sun, comes the desire for ‘a sunny pint’ or a glass of wine in the garden. I was tired and thirsty when I headed home, and I knew I had to go to the shops to get dog food.
Feeling that my will was weak, I went to the pet store rather than the supermarket, therefore avoiding temptation, which I was definitely feeling. I was weighing it up in my head – “just a few beers”, “i can have a few, its early, its Sunday, I’ll make a big dinner and be fine for tomorrow” “its sunny, everyone else will be having drinks” and on it goes.
Having survived the supermarket, I then had to drive past several shops on my way home, and there was a moment when my hand twitched the steering wheel in the direction of the store, but I held out. I was in a raging mood when I got in, head was thumping and all I could think of was how stupid it is that I can’t have a drink when I want one some much. The booze brain was throwing a total wobbler!
I made a cup of ginger tea and had a piece of chocolate, then made a nice cold fruit smoothie. All the sugar gave me a burst of energy, and before I knew it, I was busying about cleaning the flat, and not even thinking that I wanted alcohol. Why would I? I was hot and thirsty, why drink something that would dehydrate me more?
So now i’m sitting here, at 7:30 pm, having had a super productive day. I spent hours volunteering, cleaned my housed from top to bottom, put on several loads of laundry and made a healthy dinner of couscous and vegetables. Lets think, what would the situation be now if I had bought those beers I so desperately wanted? I would be drunk, and looking for more booze, probably wandering down to the store in a drunken stupor, buying wine, staggering home then drinking until I pass out, and then waking up tomorrow hating myself, wondering if I’m over the limit to drive, and if I should call in sick again etc etc etc. Blah.
Its early days, and today has been pleasant and not thrown any rubbish my way that might have driven me to drink, but I’m cautiously optimistic, I manged to say no to the booze brain!