There really is no point in me writing at the moment. Documenting this struggle is just getting too depressing. I can look back over posts and see how miserable I was feeling and considering I’m in a worse position at the moment, its not helping.
Also, I don’t think its really helping anyone who follows because Im not offering any useful insights or advice, although maybe if someone was thinking about starting to drink again, this would remind them off the pit of hell they are about to step into.
I’m taking a break to get my head sorted, to actually sober up and put some time between my drinking, and then I’ll hopefully have some positive stories to tell.
This really is a living hell, this internal battle, it feels so hopeless and almost like its easier to give in and keep drinking, but its not. I’m ready to do battle with this, its time is up, my fists are balled and I’m ready to knock it the hell out of my life once and for all.
Be back soon. x